Links The Players The Plays Blogs
03.06.2013 03:030 people like thisLike

Hi! I'm Bayne, one of the four admin that help manage the BlackRose Manor. I'm here now because YOU, the PLAYERS, have been asking for help on a few topics. Sad to say, I am a LOUSY teacher when it is 1 on 1. So, with the blessing of Raven, I helped create this space for everyone to teach and learn.


Yes I know Cain has many blog topics designed for the same reason; good ones at that, I suggest reading them and the ones at, the old site; but something more needed to be done. We needed an approach that didn't require trying to catch one of us four admin online. This was the obvious answer. I'll be trying to get the others to help from time to time [HINT HINT Raven, Cain, Akira!!] so the burden is shared between us all. It is our responsibility as admin AND as Role Players to help you ALL find the outlet you need to fully enjoy yourselves.


Now, I know of at least three [3] things that have been brought to the attention of the admin that you players have wanted help with. Rather than answer them individually, they will get answered HERE. This way, those that were afraid to ask us, for what ever reason, can just read what goes on and take notes of what they wanted to understand.


Since I've forgotten what those three things were, I want you, the PLAYERS, to join this forum and refresh my memory. What is it YOU want US to help you with? Oh, I'll also be the one in charge of handing out the homework most times there is any, so YES, there WILL be tests if I, or the other admin, feel YOU need them.


This is for education, not harassment. Even a seasoned Pro can make the simplest of mistakes, there is no shame here, only practice. Sealed

03.06.2013 15:160 people like thisLike

Well it was once said that "when one stops learning one stops living." I like to learn all sorts of useful tips to help me with my writing for both RPs and for my books. I'm also pretty good at exercises to help broaden a players aspect in detail writing or coming up with ideas. I'm more than willing to help any new writers or hear the opinions of seasoned writers as well. So I'm all in for this forum chat.

03.06.2013 20:080 people like thisLike
Hey I'm always around, people just don't seem to want to talk to me. I don't bite.........hard or to often
03.07.2013 22:010 people like thisLike

Good to know we have people paying attention at least, but since no request has been made here in a couple of days, I'll get onto the first lesson. ~Drives fist through his desk to get the attention of the class.~




I'm sure most people think they already know all they need to when it comes to setting a scene and/or entering one, but that's not always the case. In fact some people fail so terribly that they wonder why no one has anything to do with them. I'm speaking from the past two years of my experience as a Role Player, before ever coming to this site.


I will be using examples of settings and entrance scenes that are purely from my own twisted imagination and scoured from the dregs of my memory, so do not assume they are done by anyone here. If you feel that it IS aimed at you, please take notes, it just means that there is something you need to work on in the future. Again, these examples are MY creation, mimicking the styles from people I have encountered OUTSIDE the Manor, in no way shape or form do they represent anyone or anything INSIDE the Manor. Any similarities are pure coincidence.




::A tavern is in the forest by the road. A man stands at the bar while a woman is by the fire. There are tables and chairs and a girl working them. A group of people sit at the table and talk. There is a door with rooms for sleeping.::


That was so flawed it actually hurt for me to type. It is purely offensive to me, and I'm the one that typed it. If you think it is decent, you are missing the flaws which I shall now point out. Aside from the obvious that it has been broken into too many sentences, the issues are as follows :


[A tavern sits in the forest by the road] - Tavern, forest, road. This may seem perfectly fine, but if you want to draw people in, it needs more. What kind of tavern is it? Is it small, large, run-down, brand new, what? Is it a young forest, old forest, dead forest, spooky forest, bright forest? What kind of road? Is it dusty, muddy, stoney, well-traveled, barely traveled, a mix of each?


To get people to read your story, you HAVE to hook their attention. If the very first sentence fails to grab them, they won't bother to even look past it half the time. Now, onto the next sentence.


[A man stands at the bar while a woman is by the fire] - We now have people involved, which is good, but there are yet more flaws. Where is the bar and why is the man standing there? Is it inside or outside? Is he the bartender or a patron? What do they each look like? The same applies for the woman and the fire. Inside or out? Is the woman doing anything with the fire or is she simply near it? Is there anything special about the fire? Is it in a fireplace, a pit, or is the building burning?


As the second sentence, its role is just as important as the first. Don't just let your creativity die because you did good with the first line. You have to keep up the flow. It will make more sense when I get to making an entrance work.


[There are tables and chairs and a girl working them] - Okay by this point you should already know what's wrong here and be one step ahead of me. For those that are still running behind or patiently awaiting my pearls of wisdom, here goes. Where are the chairs and tables located? What are they made of? what do they look like? The girl working them, is she working as a thief, a stripper, a prostitute, a maid? What kind of girl is she? Is she pretty, or ugly? Slutty? Plain? Happy? Sad? What?


Each part of any post you make when setting a scene is going to set an image in the mind of the reader. As a general rule, you want that image to be as entertaining and interesting as you can make it without overloading people or underwhelming them with nothing.


[A group of people sit at the table and talk] - So, yet more people and they are at a location. As always, the wheres and whys come into play. Where is the table they are sitting at, how many people are there, what kind of people are they? How are they talking and who are they talking to?


At last we come to the final section of the scene. It has beena journey, but finally we are here.


[There is a door with rooms for sleeping] - Rooms for sleeping, poretty self explanitory really, they must be rooms you sleep in. How many are there, how big or small are they, are they tidy or do they make you want to sleep in a cave with an angry bear? How can a door have rooms in the first place? Are the rooms in front of the door or behind it? What kind of door is it, is it open or closed?


NEVER skimp on detail even when you're at the end of your post. If there is a detail you want people to pay attention to, make sure you put it in there! Otherwise you wind up with a scene out of Alice in Wonderland, or perhaps some nightmarish hallucination.


That was a very simple scene, not a very good scene but it could have been a lot worse. Now I will give you an example of how a setting should look when you put some thought into it. I am not saying this is how you HAVE to do them, everyone has their own style, but I'll let you decide which scene is more interesting to read, and which you would prefer to walk into.




::Within a sheltered grove deep in the heart of a gloomy forest, lay a run-down tavern built of logs and stone. The road it was beside was rarely traveled, overgrown and rocky in places, used mainly by those that sought to stay off the main routes for various reasons. The inside of the tavern was rather plain, wooden tables and chairs of simple construction set in three corners of the main room, the bar taking up the corner at the far left of the building, a stone fireplace set into the left wall. Behind the bar stood a sturdily built male of middle years, cleanign glasses and wearing a simple tunic with trousers and an apron. He looked the outdoors, no-nonsense type, though the lines about his mouth and eyes told of his readiness to smile and laugh.

Tending the fire as it roasted from fresh deer meat was a woman about the same age as the man, most likely his wife, who also dressed simply in a peasants dress and had a full apron protecting her front. Her long dark hair tied up in a simple ponytail out of her way, reached down to the small of her back, but despite her simple garb she moved with a hunters grace. Clearing a table of used dishes was a girl maybe half the age of the man and woman, obviously their daughter by the dark hair and ready smile she inherited from both parents, though she kept a wary eye on her surroundings at all times. Of the tables, the one in the back right corner was the darkest, while the most well lit table in the near left corner had a group of five men talking quietly among themselves.

These men were dressed simply, or so they seemed, their cloaks hiding most of their garments but not masking the faint sound of chainmail rustling when ever they moved their arms. No weapons were obvious on them, but they each had the air of someone not to be taken lightly. In the back wall a simple wooden door was set a few paces left of the bar, half open and leading to the rooms that could be rented out to travelers. Though the main room was well lit, the space beyond the back door was dark, almost forboding in a way, as if something lurked in the shadows beyond.::


Now I'll let you decide. Which scene would you want to be part of, which holds your imagination better and draws you in to play there? If the second style seems too much work, don't panic. You don't have to push yourself to write that way if you feel it might be tough for you, it is simply an example.


I had planned on giving a second set of examples but think I have used up enough time on these. When I have time I'll do the rest but for now this should be a suitable test for you all. If someone else wants to do an example of the entry scenes, [ the scene when you enter a setting ], by all means do so. In fact if any of you have ideas of examples you want to see, leave a message here and someone will gladly produce one when they are able.

03.07.2013 22:090 people like thisLike

Hello, I want to enroll in the classes. Skywalker

03.07.2013 23:560 people like thisLike

Welcome Skywalker! There's no need to enroll, but I thank you for the thought.  If there's something you wish to know, just ask, and someone will reply sooner or later if I don't do so myself. If you want to just read what ever random topic we decide to give examples for, that's fine too.


Oh and I'm changing colours, the red is a little harsh on the eyes.

03.08.2013 04:070 people like thisLike

She has been traveling across long ways from home as she arrives to town, she has seen the post signs say TAVERN. A lady wearing a dark-green gown to fit length to her form and standing outside looking at a tavern build by log cabin. As she walked to a door and open to enter the Tavern. She sees several people are there for social gathering to meet people there. There were three tables set at each corner of the Tavern.

03.08.2013 06:370 people like thisLike

Interesting post Kayla. Was that an entry post with my tavern example as the setting? If it was, clever girl. How ever, mistakes were made.


I am saying this only if you did use my tavern example as the setting, but there are three key mistakes made. One of them is that the tavern is made of logs and stone, not by a log cabin. You were half-way there so it's not a big mistake. The other two are a lot more serious.


If you did NOT use my tavern example, please say so, and this post will be ignored.

03.08.2013 20:080 people like thisLike

Yes i did use the tavern as example...   i am going to  try  repost  the setting  let me re study the   steps and pattern will repost it.  thanks for the  points and i do see  what you mean thanks .. bayne..

03.08.2013 22:300 people like thisLike

Don't be too quick to fix it Kayla. If it's okay with you, I'd like to use your post as a teaching aid. I want the others to find the mistakes I saw, if they can. Skywalker especially, since he was eager to join in. But it's your call.

03.09.2013 21:480 people like thisLike

Sure you can use that example for  teaching aid  it is wonderful to let them learn  i would  be glad of  a service.   -smiles -

03.09.2013 22:450 people like thisLike

Skywalker is coming from his travels and walks up to the tavern and ask the barmaid "What you have for beverages?" as he sits down in a spare time and sees people are all around drinking and talking with each other, as he orders his beverage and thanks the bartender and pays for the beverage and drinks it and begins to talk with the others.

03.10.2013 00:320 people like thisLike

You know, I'm glad you people are so eager to take part, but I haven't asked anyone to post their own examples yet!


Kayla, Skywalker, do you want me to finish the first lesson so I can give you homework?

03.10.2013 00:500 people like thisLike

"oh i thought  you want us set  an sample setting Tavern scene  oh  never mind   pls conintue Bayne."   I will be patient as  you continue Bayne "


03.10.2013 23:070 people like thisLike

A minor side note, though may be a later lesson. pay attention to punctuation in your dialogue.


"Let's eat grandma!" is very different than "Let's eat, Grandma!"

03.11.2013 00:460 people like thisLike

"Yes, Cain thanks for caught that part  i apology for not  checking the puncation.. and happy you corrected me,  Cain"

03.12.2013 19:050 people like thisLike

Pretty sure that counts for a lesson in itself right there Cain, but it may crop up later, who knows.


Continuing with the first lesson, I'll move onto making an entrance post. This can easily be considered the most important post you make as a Role Player, chiefly because it is your introduction as both a Player and a Character, and first impressions count for quite a lot these days. Of course, making the RIGHT first impression isn't straight forward, since it all depends on what's going on around the play in general.


If you're taking part in Live Play, like in a chat-room or instant messenger conference with several people, there are usually restrictions on time for everyone to get enough posts in to satisfy their urge to role play. If you're in a forum setting, like here in the Manor, taking the time to make your post look and feel like you really want it to is fairly easy, since there is no one screaming at you in IM's to hurry up and post. Well, that is unless it has been more than a few days since the last person posted.


I could just make examples of posting in Forum style only, but I think I'll do Forum and Live, just so you all get a feel for how they both work, since sooner or later you will experience a good measure of both styles of play.




::Enters:: , ::Walks in:: , ::Appears:: , ::Sits down:: .... These happen more often than is really appreciated. These kind of posts, if you can even call them that, are usually made by people that have no real interest in posting properly, or are too lazy to actually put forth the effort. Since time is of the essence, posting like this is only really preferred when there are so many people involved that there really is no time for long entrances, especially if everyone knows who you are anyway. It doesn't display a lot of creativity, and kind of makes you look like an ass.




::With a solid kick from his stout leg, the surly Dwarf, Nurdal Bludhammer, booted the door of the tavern open, trudging inside with a sour look on his face. Dressed in furs and chainmail from head to toe, his graying beard streaked with the remnants of bright red, dented helm sitting crooked atop his head and his trusty cudgel resting lightly across one shoulder, the dour little man made his way across the tavern floor to the bar, taking the stool closest to the fire and ordering a large mug of Dwarvish Ale in a gruff, earthy tone of voice.::


Short, sweet and to the point. If you aim to say as much as you can in 2 -3 lines / sentences, you are perfectly fine. In Live Play, posts like this are not only accepted in general, but usually preferred. It tells everyone what they need to know about my character, his appearance and current mood, as well as puts him in a set location within the setting I prepared earlier. From this point on, if all my character does is talk, I only need to describe his facial expressions and body language, without having to repeat where he is sitting unless he decides to move away from the fire or bar.


In Forum Play, I would call my EXAMPLE 4 the bare minimum. Anything less than that isn't even worth posting really. The only times a post should be worse than that, is if it is pure dialogue [nothing but the character saying a lot and nothing else] , or you are exiting the scene and play. If you don't have the time to sit down and type up a post, then don't. Write what you want to post on a piece of paper or something when ever you get the free time, add to it as you feel like, and when you finally CAN sit there for a good long time to post, type up what you wrote down, making it as awesome as you want it to be.


People may not agree with my opinions on this, and that's fine. Everyone has their own style, but from my experiences I've learned that the more effort I put into a post, the more people enjoy the role play I'm part of, and the more they want to join in. There have been times when even if my posts shine, no one else has the energy to keep up and I feel like my efforts are wasted. It happens, not everyone has their mind overflowing with ideas all the time, not even me, but that is only a problem in Live Play.


My final example for this lesson will be showing you how to enter a scene, after which I will hand out homework. The key word for this lesson is OBSERVATION. Look it up in a dictionary if you want to, there is no harm in finding the meanings to words you don't understand. I use tonnes of words I rarely know, they just fit the mood of my style. Regardless, in Role Play, observing is the key to becoming great. Missing part of a scene could get your character hurt, pregnant or worse. Pay close attention to the setting and the posts before yours, and you'll soon get the hang of how to Role Play like a Pro.




::Kicking the wooden door in with one of his short stout legs, the burly and sour-tempered dwarf Nurdal Bludhammer, stumped his way inside, muttering to himself and glaring about from under his bushy and wild brows. To his left he saw the group of men talking to themselves quietly, to the right he saw the barkeeps daughter clearing one of the tables. Rolling his shoulders he huffed, shifted his trusty white-oak, iron-banded cudgel from one shoulder to the other, and made his way across the room towards the bar in the far left corner, hopping up on the stool closest to the fire where the barkeeps wife tended the flames and the meat that was cooking.

Casting his gaze about once more, he set is cudgel down by his feet, resting the grip against his leg to keep the sturdy weapon in easy reach before adjusting the sit of his fur cloak. Under the cloak he wore simply Dwarven chain-mail, belted with a wide leather belt around his middle, simple tunic and trousers of leather make hidden beneath the woven steel hoops. Scratching at the wild growth he called a beard, streaks of his true red color showing through the aged gray, the elderly little man glared at the barkeep as he cleaned a glass, before digging into his hip pouch for a couple of coins and banging them onto the bar counter top.

"A mug o' ye finest Dwarven Ale, lad. An' throw in a slab o' that there meat cookin' by yonder fire while yer at it." The Dwarf had a gruff and earthy tone of voice, loud enough to be heard from one side of the tavern to the other, as you would expect from someone that was used to working in a noisy mine. When his drink arrived he gripped the mug firmly in one gnarled and calloused fist, chugging the fluid back greedily before slamming the mug down after draining it in one sitting. With a satisfied sound released, he blew the foam from his whiskers and looked around a third time as he waited for his slab of meat to turn up next.::


And that is how an entrance to a setting should be done. You take note of everything set out, you decide just what your character is going to do and how they will behave, then you make it all happen as smoothly as possible. You do not need to copy my style perfectly, but if it gives you ideas on things you can change with your own style, it did its job. I could have done like before and broken it line by line, but that was rather tedious and annoying. Instead I shall now give you your homework assignments and let you learn from trial and error.




Yep, that's it.. I want 1 setting, and 1 entry into that setting, and BOTH must demonstrate what you have learned from this lesson. You can do both in one post, just put a large gap between the setting and the entry so we can tell them apart. If you are stuck on something, or if I failed to explain something, just point it out and we will set you on the right path. There is no time limit here, take as long as you need to until you are comfortable with your post. I am not forcing you to do anything I wouldn't expect of myself, and look how long it took me to complete this lesson.


After all is said and done, the rest is up to you, show us what you are capable of.

03.13.2013 15:200 people like thisLike

Kayla has been traveling along the dusty road. She is far away from home as she arrives to town, she has seen the post signs say TAVERN. She is wearing a dark-green gown to fit length to her form, and standing outside looking at a tavern was built by log and stone.


Inside the Tavern, it is rather simple plain wooden tables and chairs set to a construction to each two corners of the main room. There is a long bar far off the right side of the wall. A stone built a fireplace center to the outlying wall of the tavern. Behind the bar stood firm build man named Sam with a top with trouser cover with apron for tending the bar and cooking.


A lady named Silva sitting far-right corner. She is wearing top with peasant dress and skirt with apron looking like she is waiting on someone arrive to meet her there. A man named Jake sitting another side of corner chatting with Alice across from him presumed as his wife wearing long gown dark blue to fit to her forms.


Kayla pushed a wooden door as she is walking straight to the bar order herself a drink. She sees her friend Silva was waiting on her and turned to head for her table sitting across from Silva. Kayla says Greetings my friend Silva How the day treat thee ?  She turned around to see a man Jake laughing having a good time talking to his wife Alice, both seem in a descent spirit mood today that is an excellent news.




03.14.2013 19:060 people like thisLike

That was surprisingly well done Kayla. You got the general idea of the lesson which is good, but you did miss a few points again.


- I had said to post a SETTING post and an ENTRY post , I may not have made myself clear but the idea was you were to create your own setting, then a post where you entered that setting.


- You forgot your punctuation again in that last paragraph. A minor mistake but it feels more like one long sentence of explanation, which I'm sure you didn't intend.


Aside from those, you didn't do too bad. Compared to your previous attempt there is a great deal of improvement.


You can try again if you wish, only this time come up with your own idea for a setting. Skywalker should join in the lesson too, his attempt needs redoing as well.

03.15.2013 04:060 people like thisLike

Letting you know,  I am working on the setting and entry.  I  will posted it soon as i finish it.  Thank you,  Bayne

03.16.2013 05:090 people like thisLike

(for the record I am not using Greg but another character for this practice ok. lol)



Sounds of glasses being filled with fresh ale are masked only by the sound of cheers, chatter and loud boast from many humans, vampires, lycans, and Hybrids a like sharing a glass of ale in the memory of the fallen one known as Metal Wolf. Waitresses and bartenders keep tabs as they take orders from food to more ale. Eyes of a few turn towards the front door of the tavern as it bend inwardly and shatters as a heavily injured male vampire crashes through it. Wooden shards from the door fly inside the tavern causing people to duck and run to avoid getting hit by them. The male vampire let out a whimpering growl as he lays  on the ground helpless. The wounds on the poor built male vampire showed a sigh to all that whatever he fought had just handed his own ass to him on a silver platter.


Two glowing blue eyes appeared following a deep sigh from a young human male figure. His skin was young a smooth, His Blonde hair short, His body was slim yet it's muscular structure could easily be seen through the tight green peasant shirt and black leather clad pants. Anger, rage and pain were clearly seen in the eyes of the male figure as made his way into the tavern. Carefully stepping over the helpless male vampire as he made his way directly to the bar area.


"It can't be, your dead!" One vampire replied as fear gripped others. "You must mean my twin brother Greg. My name is Tommy, I come from another realm to find the soon to be dead man or creature who killed him." He replies as a glass a blood wine is placed in front of him by the female bartender. Her Grey eyes look at him with understanding as wisdom as she replies. " I knew your brother well, he help pay off my debt and allowed me to keep this place open. His death is a great loss for us all." Tommy gave of a gentle sigh as he nodded to her while sipping on the blood wine.

03.16.2013 13:050 people like thisLike

Make sure when you are doing your action Place your ~ ~ or * *,  but when you speak while middle of your action use " "'. If we are in the a middle of a role and need question and talk to the person  Use ( )   Like this ~ Bella standing on her balcony looking up the night star. She begins to speak softly " Why have he forbidden our love what have I done wrong" sigh as her mind wonder.~ ( See how I did it? I am sure they will agreed on this) :) I hope that help for some who a beginner!

03.16.2013 16:380 people like thisLike

Those work on simple post formats yet in story book formats you don't see them. For those who are having trouble with details, I would simply sudjest that you put yourself mentaly to what is around your character. Then write how would your character enter such a place and what he/she would do once they got there.


03.16.2013 19:170 people like thisLike

In Deep the valley the roads, it was seldom traveled, overgrown and rocky in places, used scarcely by the people that sought to stay off the particular routes for various reasons. The trail down below a large tavern inside was rather plain, wooden table and chairs to the left outside the room, a stone fireplace setting at the center of room. Behind the stone fireplace, there was a twin bed far right wall, North of the room there a sink for washing dishes. There are the stairs to climb up to the room, upstairs to the loft twin bed set to left wall and night stand next to the bed.

The Lady turned to attend to the fire as it roasted from fresh deer meat. A lady wearing a simple dress with full apron to protect her front tied around to her waist and her medium length blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail out of her way. Cleared the table of used dishes to put into the sink. While she is cooking to tend to a man and two boys sitting on a wooden chair.

The man was dressed simply like a knight, the sound of chain mail rustling when ever they moved their arms... The Older boy sitting left side on the table discussing with his father about the plans while their father was away, taken upon responsibility for the household. The Younger boy listened to their plans helping his brother with work on the stables.

Outside next building, stables for animals it was large a made by log and stones, inside their three stalls was horses and hay. On the right side against the wall hang few equipment. On the far left side of the stables, there was wood's equipment laying on a table to use for making woods stuffs.

03.16.2013 22:290 people like thisLike

It is a warm and sunny day as Skywalker is walking in the middle of the day sweating profusely and sees the bar in the distance as sweat pours into his eyes,  Moments later, he enters the bar and comes to the bartender on duty and asks "Do you have a club soda?" He replies "Yes sir, and  gives Skywalker the club soda." and Skywalker pays the fee and sit in the saloon to cool off on the hot day outside.

03.18.2013 23:350 people like thisLike

Thank you Bella and Greg. How ever, the Action Marks are only needed for Live Play. In forum Play, like Greg said, they aren't needed. So long as you remember where your quotation/speech marks go , " " , then you are all set.


Now, aside from that, Greg, your post is decent, you don't need to worry too much and it is a good example for the rest to go by. Kayla, your setting was a good attempt but needs some more work. You don't need to stick to my tavern example, come up with something original. Skywalker, you need to work on putting your speech marks " " in the right places a little more, and perhaps adding a little more detail, but a fair attempt at an entrance post all the same.


You're both getting the hang of it, and showing improvement, which is all we ask for, well done. =)

03.21.2013 23:530 people like thisLike

Thanks to Bella pointing it out, I decided to write up a short glossary of common terms used by Role Players. If I miss anything out, the knowledgeable ones can post it up.




Role Play - When you pretend to be a Character in a story.


Live Play - When Role Play is happening between two or more Players inside a chatroom or conference.


Forum Play - When Role Play is played out in a forum or messageboard.


Character - This is who or what you want to be when you are in the story.


Char - Abbreviation of Character.


IC - In Character; When ever you are in the process of Role Playing as your Character.


OOC - Out Of Character; When you are saying anything that is coming from you, the Player, and not your Character.


OOC Mark - ( ) { } [ ] (( )) {{ }} [[ ]] ({ }) ([ ]) {( )} {[ ]} [( )] [{ }] ; any combination of thse are used when you wish to speak as the Player during Live Play.


Player - This is you, the person telling the story of your Character.


Mun - This is also you, another word used when speaking to or about the Player.


Action Mark - =-: :: -- ~~ # @ $$ ^^^ ^v^ :*: *** ; Any symbol or combination of symbols put before and after a Post to signal that it has started or finished. They are only required in Live Play, when telling each other apart is more difficult than in Forum Play.


Post - This is your part of the story you are taking part in.


Speech Mark - " " ; You use them when your Character is speaking. Not necessary when the Player speaks.


Third Person - Writing as if you are telling the story of someone else. == He did not see the ogre coming up behind him. "Oh FRELL me..." == ; This is the preferred method of posting for your Character.


First Person - Writing as if you are telling a story that happened to you. ==I did not see the ogre coming up behind me. "Oh FRELL me..." == ; You should try and avoid writing this way for your character.



03.22.2013 17:430 people like thisLike

Kayla is riding behind a horse galloping through in the deepest heart of a the Valley view gather over the mountains among, there were many varies kinds of trees in the areas. Below the hill, there was a trailing that leading toward the Crystal deep blue waterfalls around the waterfalls another trail rocky and stony place it rarely travels across the main road for a varies of reasons. Below the hill, you can see in plain view there a large castle, still continue to gallop on her way towards the castle.

Inside there were coupled of rooms each room had wooden chairs and table along with the couch. Far to the left is a room for den with coffee table and chairs around it. Across is to the Kitchen with lots of shelves with doors for plates, and bowls many a number of different kinds of kitchen equipment for cooking stuff. In the far-right side, it was built a stone fireplace against the wall. In the center, a Living room has a coffee table with several chairs around it. Far to the right room is a study room filled with library books. Upstairs several other room has the bedroom with nightstands on each side of bed and closet with dresser in place.

Outside next building, stables for animals it was large a made by log and stones, inside their three each stalls was milking cows, horses and pigs. The stacked hauled of hay sets on the right side against the wall. Furthermore, on the far left side hooks few equipment, hanging for saddles and blanket, of course the halter. There is much wood's equipment for making wood stuffs.

A lady is tending the fire as it roasted from fresh deer meat. A lady wearing a simple dress with full apron to protect her front tied around her waist and her medium length brown hair pulls up into a ponytail out of her way. Cleared the table of used dishes to put into the sink. She washed the dishes then putting the dishes away.

03.22.2013 20:520 people like thisLike

Kayla is on the horse's name Bayou and galloping on her way to the castle. As she arrived trotting to the stables to put the horses saddle, blanket, and halter hanging on a metal stand to put away until the next ride. She is walking her horses to the pen with fence for running to get in shape out the field.Yeah you are free to run around here it is your place.” She is walking small trail toward the castle. “thinking to her self-wondering when is the moon coming looking up the sky notice is near moon time for her shift to wolf to go explore to run free as wild in the forest.” She arrived at the castle there a porch in front to sit out a plain view of a the Valley. She is looking forward to any company to stop by her place for a visit.

03.24.2013 18:150 people like thisLike

I think you've gotten what the lesson was about Kayla, from this point on it's all about practice makes experience makes perfect. Well done.

03.24.2013 22:020 people like thisLike

Great thanks bayne should i go to on top of shack ??

03.25.2013 21:470 people like thisLike

Top Of The Stack*, not shack.. I should warn you though Kayla, if you go there, you will be picked on. You've shown brilliant growth and grasp of the rudimentary elements of Role Play, which was the entire purpose of the Library, teaching folks the first steps, but the next level is not nice.


There will be no mercy beyond this point. It doesn't matter who enters the Stack, they will all be treated equally, but strictly.


If you really want to put yourself through it, then you may go on. You have earned the right to advance, congratulations Kayla.


When I have a moment to think, I'll make an appropriate opening statement there.

03.30.2013 20:380 people like thisLike

Skywalker is traveling in the desert town on a hot and steamy afternoon.  His vision is impaired due to the sweat is his eyes. He thinks. "Where can he get a drink on this hot day?" Moments later, he sees a building in the distance, is it a mirage or a real building? He goes forward toward the building and sees it is a tavern, and walks inside and to cool off. As he feels the fans cool him off, he asks the bartender "May I have a glass of ice water please?" Moments later, the bartender gets the water for Skywalker and he pays the fee for it. After finishing the water, he thanks him for the water and finds a place to cool off.

04.03.2013 20:530 people like thisLike

Not too bad there, Skywalker. You're getting the idea of Third Person which is good, but there are a couple of things I feel I need to point out.


- When your character is thinking, they don't need "this" unless they are thinking out loud for others to overhear. If you want it to be different to the rest of the post so it doesn't blend in and get confusing, try using italics. If you don't know what italics are, these are them. Press the [I] button between the [B] and [U] button to turn italics on or off.


- We all get that he's hot and wants to cool off, but you don't need to repeat the fact so many times. It's a very common mistake that even a few experienced RolePlayers have made, including me when I lose track of what I'm posting, like just now. -.- . Since there are fans cooling the room down, stating that he needs to find somewhere to cool off makes very little sense, and just fills your post with unnecessary repetition. Try to keep yourself from repeating as much as possible, it's not a good habit to form.


Aside from those, it wasn't a bad effort Skywalker, well done.